BDSM RTV NEWS!!!!
03 october 2008
The 2008 SEX poll
Source: www.timeout.com
Time out New York - USAWe learned, thanks to our readers online, that straight men are the gassiest. Spray some air freshener near the closest one and read on.
If the sex genie granted you one night of safe anything-goes sex, would you choose to have…a a condom-free orgy?
b an S&M extravaganza?
c your virgin asshole probed and plowed?
d sex with someone of a different gender than you usually have sex with?
Among straight men, 86% would opt for a “condom-free orgy,” as would 83% of gay guys, 81% of bi men, 59% of bi women and 53% of straight women (although a healthy dose of straight gals-26% to be exact-chose “sex with someone of a different gender than you usually have sex with”). Meanwhile, only 17% of lesbians chose a condom-free orgy; a plurality of 33% opted instead to experience an “S&M extravaganza.”
True or false: After a good five years of the global trend of pubic hair shaving, I’m ready to welcome the return of untamed bush.a True
b False
Unfortunately, only bi women had a majority (56%) in the affirmative-otherwise, it was all about machete-ing the pubic jungle. For straight women, bi men and gay men, 62% of each like it trimmed, as do 70% of straight men and 58% of lesbians. Oh well, maybe next year.
True or false: I have masturbated at my workplace.a True
b False
I think you guys are engaging in one particular sex act just to annoy me: That’s right, 52% of straight men, 65% of bi men, 63% of gay men and a whopping 83% of lesbians have masturbated at the workplace. The only people who apparently know about a little thing called decorum are bi women (58% answered false) and straight women (70% of whom know better than to waste a good self-pleasuring session in the office john).
Finish this sentence: During sex, I like to feel…a in control.
b dominated.
c the top of someone’s head asthey’re going down on me.
d a nice hard smack on my ass.
Exactly half of bi women and 51% of straight women like to feel dominated, while the control freaks of the bunch were straight men (48%) and lesbians (58%). Gay men split pretty evenly among “dominated” (35%), “in control” (33%) and “the top of someone’s head while they’re going down on me” (24%); and bi men went largely for “the top of someone’s head” (38%).
The last thing I would ever lick on another person is their…a feet.
b armpits.
c asshole.
d nostril.
Bi men ain’t going to suck on your toes (35%), nostril (27%) or ass (23%). Bi women draw the line at the ass (44%). Gay men mostly went for nostrils (53%) followed by feet (27%). Lesbians won’t go near the armpits (42%). Straight men said no ass (41%), as did straight women (55%).
My most embarrassing sexual faux pas involved…a vomiting.
b shit.
c piss.
d blood.
e farting.
Straight men turned out to be the biggest farters (57%), followed by a three-way tie among lesbians (50%; FYI: the other 50% said “blood”), bi women (50%) and bi men (50%), then straight women (46%). Gay men were the only ones not to put farting first, but before you admire their gastrointestinal fortitude, you should know that the winning blooper for them involved shit (41%).
Pick the one that comes closest to your point of view: When it comes to oral sex…a I’m one of those rare creatures who prefers to give rather than to receive.
b I’m one of those rare creatures who absolutely refuses to give but loves to receive.
c I do it often but I don’t like it.
d I agree to do it only on special occasions.
e I need it at least a couple times a week or I get grumpy.
More than a third of each orientation said they need it at least a couple of times a week (straight women: 35%, straight men: 42%, bi women: 38%, bi men: 50%, lesbians: 67%, gay men: 51%). Those numbers were consistently higher than for answer A (straight women: 32%, straight men: 41%, bi women: 31%, bi men: 27%, lesbians: 33%, gay men: 38%).
When it comes to sex smells, I say…a Bring ’em on-the more the merrier.
b The only thing I want to smell is you sizzling up some bacon in the morning.
c I prefer a whiff of au naturel to those faux smells of deodorant, body sprays, etc.
d No trick of mine gets into bed without a hazmat-level smell-purifying shower.
Everyone went for “I prefer au naturel” (straight women: 47%, bi women: 40%, straight men: 34%, gay men: 47%, lesbians: 58%), except for bi men who predominantly chose the “hazmat-level smell-purifying shower” (38%).
Finish this sentence: If I were forced to stick with only one sexual position for the rest of my life, I’d choose…a doggie-style intercourse.
b sixty-nining.
c butt sex.
d good old-fashioned missionary.
Gay men went for butt sex (44%); straight men opted for the missionary position (51%), as did straight women (62%), bi men (42%) and bi women (56%). And this is interesting: Lesbians gave two strap-ons up for doggie style (42%) and also sixty-nining (33%).
Imagine you had a teenage daughter who became pregnant out of wedlock. Would you…a accept a high-profile position on a national political ticket, thereby thrusting your mortified daughter into the worldwide spotlight?
b put your daughter’s needs before your own career ambitions and turn the position down?
c not worry about that there politickin’ stuff and just prepare to take photos of theimpending baby’s dirty diaper, hoping to see the face of Jesus in the fecal smear?
d praise the Lord for creatingstorks with bills strong enough to bless your daughter with a baby?
This was my personal favorite question, and I’m pleased to announce that at least half of most sexual orientations-all but straight men- would not choose to do what Sarah Palin did, answering, that they’d put their daughter’s needs before their own career ambitions (bi men: 54%, bi women: 56%, gay men: 50%, lesbians: 58%, straight women: 56%). Straight men were a bit more split between doing the right thing (38%) and advancing their careers (23%).
Finish this sentence: The recent reports of David Duchovny’s addiction to Internet porn got me thinking…a Jeez, I wonder if I spend too much time wanking in front of my computer.
b Jeez, what a loser-thank God I’m in full control of my moderate porn consumption.
c Jeez, I wonder if he knows any good bukkake sites.
d Jeez, I think my husband/boyfriend may have the same addiction.
Straight men (73%), straight women (60%), bi women (56%) and gay women (83%) overwhelmingly thought Agent Mulder is a “loser.” Gay (40%) and bi (50%) men were worried that they’re spending too much time wanking and clicking.
Straight guys, if you had the power to take one thing away from a famous person, would you want…a the girlfriend of Tom Brady?
b the cock of Tommy Lee?
c the rampant sex life of [pick any NBA star]?
d the tantric expertise of Sting?Guys were fairly evenly split among Tom Brady’s girlfriend (26%), Sting’s tantric skills (28%) and the wild sex life of an NBA star (30%). Tommy Lee’s schlong garnered only 14%.
Straight gals, finish this sentence: The thing that turns me off immediately with a guy is…a back hair.
b bad cunnilingus skills.
c crotch stench.
d pencil dick.
Guys, wash up! The biggest turnoff by far was crotch stench (55%) followed distantly by pencil dick (18%), back hair (14%) and bad cunnilingus (13%).
Gay guys, when a dude is ready to blow a load, where do you most like it blown?a Your mouth
b Don’t care-as long as it’s not in your mouth
c Your face
d In a plush, springtime-fresh towel.
Anywhere but the mouth was the popular choice (48%), followed by…in the mouth (32%). The face (15%) and a springtime-fresh towel (5%) rounded out the category.
Gay gals, if you could pick a celebrity threesome to take part in, which couple would you choose?a Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres
b Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson
c Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels
d Rosie O’Donnell and Kelli Carpenter
Adorable newlyweds Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi won handily (58%), followed by recently out Lindsay Lohan and her special lady friend, Samantha Ronson (33%). Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels scored a mere 8%, but that’s better than Rosie and Kelli, who failed to get a single vote.
