BDSM RTV NEWS!!!!

02 nov 2008

The MAG: Kinky Conference


Source: www.thesudburystar.com Sudbury Star - Sudbury,Ontario,Canada


Ftal Lee picks up the cat-o-nine-tails Nate Solomon affectionately calls "Baby" and gives it an experimental flick. Solomon has been unpacking his toy bag for a photo shoot: a paddle, riding crop, various whips and leather bondage cuffs come out, as well as two leather hats.



Lee is wearing a collar, the type normally worn by submissives.
As the captain of the Rock City Rollers, a roller derby team, she's used to checking other women on wheels as they skate at dizzying speeds around a rink. Lee is far from submissive. She just bought the collar because it looks cool with her derby outfit.

Lee isn't into "bondage and discipline, dominance and submission" referred to by those in the community as BDSM ... at least not yet.
But she will be attending NOCK -- The Northern Ontario Conference of Kink next weekend as a sponsor.

"Because I'm curious," she said of her attendance. "And also to sell raffle tickets."

The conference is the first of its kind for Sudbury, perhaps Northern Ontario. Its tag line is "Don't KNOCK it until you try it."

Other sponsors of the event include the SNOBEARS from Sudbury's gay community, who will be catering the event, as well as the Sudbury Women's Centre, which donated objects for its silent auction.

The focus of the "alternative sexuality" conference is on education. How to play safe. Even the proceeds raised by its photo booth will go to Access Aids' education program promoting safe sex.

It's also all-inclusive, open to people of "all genders and sexual orientations," as well as "all levels of experience."

So, who usually comes to events like these?

"I spent a lot of time in different communities and they're all very strong," Solomon said.

"There's definitely a strong leather-man community out there, leather dyke community and a very strong pan-sexual community. It is something becoming much more mainstream. I never realized how mainstream until I moved out of Sudbury."

Solomon recently moved back to Sudbury to be with his ailing mother, after living in Vancouver for a number of years.

"I was like a kid in a candy store. I was like 'wow,' " he said of his B. C. experience. "You just take it for granted. Then you come back to town and it's like, hmmm ... Sudbury's big enough, why not start doing stuff up here?"

Solomon has sandwiched the conference between two other major events in the Ontario community: Mr Leather Ottawa and Mr. Leather Toronto.

"I have sold tickets through PayPal and credit card by phone to people in New York, Gatineau, Sault Ste. Marie and Toronto," he said. "That's not counting local sales. Where I'm at with ticket sales, I'm very pleased."

Initially he'd hoped to get 50 people, now he hopes to fill the place with about 200 participants.

Solomon has particularly been promoting the event in Toronto through publications like Xtra.

It's a small community and many are used to travelling to the United States for events.

Northern Ontario is a far more attractive alternative since there is no border to cross.

As you can imagine, having a guard go through your bag of toys, asking, "What's this?" can be an uncomfortable experience.

Sudbury has a small BDSM community. There was a club that met for "monthly munches," which translated into potlucks and discussions, but Solomon heard it had stopped meeting.

He never took part because it always occurred on the weekend his daughter visited from out of town. "Priorities," he explained.

You have to be 18 years old to attend the alcohol-free event -- and identification will be checked at the door.

Solomon has taken a little bit of hassling over the event's alcohol-free designation.

"I'm a firm believer that SM and alcohol do not go together," he said. "You start consuming alcohol, you're impaired. These sorts of activities should be done without any sort of impairment. It's just not good to mix ... When you're participating in SM activities, you're setting off endorphins. You're already going to be experiencing a natural high anyway. But if you're under impairment, people could get hurt. You could take more than you actually can. You're not using your best judgment."

What about needing a couple of drinks for courage?

"You see, that's dangerous thinking," he said. "If you have to be impaired to do stuff like this, you shouldn't be doing it. That's where the workshops educate on stuff like that."

Solomon is adamant about using his real name. He thinks it's important in bringing BDSM out of the shadows. However, many of his presenters have chosen to use their aliases, including two big names in the community --Morpheous, who will be signing copies of his book, "How to be Kinky: A guide to Getting into BDSM," and boy matt, an award-winning bootblack.

Boy matt will be offering workshops on boot blacking the Saturday night of the conference. According to Solomon, this isn't really a sexual thing, more about taking care of gear.

"Some people in the lifestyle believe you want to look presentable, part of that is having nice shiny boots. There's a large population that do this," Solomon said. "The gentleman who is coming up, boy matt, has just won the 2008 North American Boot Blacking championship.

Other workshops include: Restrained Loving; Submission 101: Why we do what we do; Making a Scene: Flirting, Negotiating and Communication; and Historic Whips in Modern BDSM Play.

Safety is a big factor stressed at the workshops. Stuff like how not to cut off circulation during bondage and where not to flog will be discussed.
"This isn't about harming people," he said.

The workshops take place Saturday afternoon, followed by a "leather tasting event" where people get to try out the various equipment-- St. Andrew's crosses, spanking benches and a sling -- with the help of a trained professional. Then there's a play party Saturday night.

A play party is by no means a free for all. There's etiquette to be observed, much of it common sense.

"You don't touch people without permission. If someone identifies as a submissive, it doesn't necessarily mean they're your submissive. Just basic ground rules. Most of it is very logical," he said.

Solomon likens the conference to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Not all of it is going to appeal to your taste. You don't have to try all the dishes. But there be might something you'd like to try.